Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
