I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I got inside last night via doggy door
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
