I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
