it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
