Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
