Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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