I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
My vagina just clenched in fear
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
