my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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