Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
