Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Randomize
