did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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