I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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