This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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