chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Reggie can tackle my bush.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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