he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
