SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
