it was like his penis was on wheels.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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