i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Randomize
