I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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