hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
