we have pet lesbian snakes
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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