Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Randomize
