Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
