pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
