I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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