whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
