Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
two words...techno handjob
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
