The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
