No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize