bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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