I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
