did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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