just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
