I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
It's never too late to be topless.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
