Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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