she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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