If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
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