Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
