I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize