i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize