i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize