Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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