Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
