come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
