I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
