I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'm getting married
To pizza
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Randomize
