Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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