Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
