Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize