Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
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