real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
