What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
