I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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