to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
