I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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