omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
They took my balls.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
