girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
