I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
