just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
