my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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