ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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