I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
The air taste purple.
Randomize