Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
